Saturday, February 24, 2007

Wandering

Would it not for sheer consternation and an inhibition to speak what is on my mind, the disconnect grows. We are already moving away from each other, and from the others, at a speed approaching the barrier of thought. What shall we do when we are too far apart to care? What is the distance between two stars; and between lovers?

As I say this, I feel colder, more distant from you now, and I know there are pockets of Time betwixt the mind and the heart, as surely as there are pockets of Time between now and tomorrow. What weight this distance seems to me, and I wonder how we ever managed to reach this point in so short a Time. Ah, but Time is an enemy...

There is no point in feeling this cynical, this bitter, but the heart knows it's own paths and I am but a spectator watching, as if from a great distance. Is it possible to become distant from one's self? And is it possible to go too far, to wander away and not be able to find your way back? I wonder, if while wandering you were to find someone else, another version of your self, would the old self die? Can the self exist without it's self? And what is the difference between the self and the Self?

I do not know these questions, nor do I spend my waking hours striving to find the answers, either. I shall not look to find a reason, nor shall I want, but wander to and fro neither searching, nor being searched for. I am becoming anonymous, faceless, heartless, bodiless, soulless...selfless?